Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Being a Social Recluse

Disappointed Friends

Today I had to tell another friend (Friend #1) about my situation as I might have disappointed a group of friends by being a social recluse during my last pregnancy.

I avoided social situations while I was pregnant as I preferred resting at home given that I had a miscarriage before, and did not respond to group chats or messages much. I had agreed to meet the group on a certain day to celebrate a friend's (Friend #2) birthday and pulled out last minute. Suggested another date (a much later date closer to my second trimester) and no one replied. I guessed as much that Friend #2 was upset and I would understand why.. It was an important occasion and I seemed very nonchalant about it. Friend #1 must have been disappointed as well.

Today, one week after the d&c, I felt that I had to arrange a celebration for Friend #2 now that I have recovered. Asked Friend #1 about it and she commented that I had been "missing in action" and that Friend #1 was sad. I had no choice but to let her know about my incident.. and she felt so bad.. I would prefer not to let anyone know about this, but I had to this time as I treasure our friendship.. And I do not blame her for being disappointed in me beforehand as I did not tell her anything.

Friend #1 is one of my few friends who knows about my whole history, and have given me lots of encouragement.

Being a Hermit Crab

Before I lost my innocence, I was always happy to meet and socialize with friends and new people. I would attend most gatherings and parties, and arrange meet ups with different groups of friends. But now, I'm a total hermit crab.. I guess it is part and parcel of infertility, to avoid social situations, to avoid looking at Facebook or Instagram with friends posting about their new borns or toddlers etc.

The first step right now would be to heal myself.. physically and emotionally.. before letting myself out into the world again. Despite the issues you are facing, I feel it is important to continue to keep in touch with your close friends, hang out, laugh together and be happy.

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