Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Back to work but not emotionally stable

After 2 weeks recovering at home, I was back at work yesterday.

Still emotionally unstable

Was supposed to have lunch with a group of people but I felt like walking around alone and did some grocery shopping. Was back in office during lunch time when no one was around, and I bumped into my big boss at the lift lobby (he's my boss' boss' boss' boss - really BIG boss!). He said happily 'I heard you are pregnant!'. I didn't know what to say but I mustered a 'no more...' and I broke down in front of him. 

He walked towards me and told me multiple times not to worry, that it wasn't my time and my time would come someday. He knew it was my second miscarriage. It was quite a one sided conversation as I was unable to speak properly while I was crying. I have never cried in front of a boss before in my 7 years of working experience.

I dropped him an email after and thanked him for his encouragement, and he asked me out for lunch the week after. If there was any boss I had to cry in front of, I would rather it be him. He is such a sweet and nice boss, always caring about his staff. I know he's married with no kids... and would want to know more about him during that lunch. It would be quite a personal lunch..

At some random moment at work yesterday and today, I would start tearing uncontrollably. I guess it takes time to heal..

Support from Instagram

Every day I would check into my Instagram account. The support you get on Instagram is amazing... How there are so many women out there having the same situation and sharing their experiences.. I have gotten some tips and advice from others.. I post something whenever I am feeling down, and the responses you get from people who understand you are heartwarming.. Although I remain anonymous on Instagram, I seek solace and comfort from these women.

Well... I'm just waiting day by day, hoping for my period to come soon so that I can do those blood tests!


  1. sending love.
    I can't even imagine return to work and facing the same people that ou once shared in excitement with. It's not easy. it's unfair.

    1. It's not easy at all.. I had kept my second pregnancy low profile and did not announce it in office, but yet it is still not easy when those few who know ask you about it. Thanks for your love Samone (: